the year of lyrics: a poetry project

my search for inner-peace, one poem at a time

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Day 308 – Unkempt Matter

I thought by creating space, I would be more free
Free to fly, like a bird, without any regard to boundary

But it’s not like you can create space, nor can you create matter,
It exists and is difficult to deface
But does it really even matter?

See, I stand before you on this elevated space,
Preaching to you the thoughts I wish I could erase

But clearly I’m not making and progress
I give up so much but come out with far less
And my fists are screaming
Dreaming of unleashing
The sense of confusion that fires from within

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Day 302 – From the Sponge, To the Boiling Pot

*Inspired by Sarah Kay

You were enticing, though I knew you could burn me if you really wanted.
And I was warned to be cautious around you, since you have a tendency to boil over.
But for the record, watching you from across the kitchen was my favorite thing to do.
Encompassed in your sleek pot, with a handle for which one is to gently lift you.

See, though I learned to wash away filth, I always soak in those around me.
And I’m guilty of absorbing you more than a time or two.
And cleaning up after your messes weren’t always easy.
But I got the job done.

Part of me feels that I’m unfinished, with all of these holes in my being.
But I know that I’m just open.
I put up no boundaries to guard from unwanted adventurers.
No, I simply let them in, and trust them (perhaps a little too much).

But with you, I was more than eager to drink you in.
And you’d warm me up with your tenderness.
You were the best kind of mess I could clean up. But also the worst.

Sometimes, you know, you’d just sit still, at room temperature.
Difficult to read, I was not sure how to move around you.
And when the fire was hot enough, you’d boil into tantrums of
Scalding-hot oblivion. Your bubbling water would threaten to attack me.

And on those off-days of yours, you’d evaporate into thin air.
You’d release into the atmosphere as steam,
And soon you’d be out of my reach.
I couldn’t contain you even if I tried.

One day, I hope that you can condense back into the
Pores of me, for they are empty.
Waiting to be replenished
By your abundance.

See, I believe that you have the ability to change.
To freeze into a solid.
Perhaps be my sturdy brick of ice that cools me down when I get a little to hot.
And when we’re both at a calm,
You can melt back into your,
Ever-moving self,
And dance with me.

‘Cause I’ll never stop wanting to wash up after you.
Even if you’re on the other side of the kitchen,
Sitting atop your stove-top pedestal.
I have the window’s sunlight behind me,
And I’ll let it shine to you.
And maybe you’ll come back home.

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Day 246 – Stop Searching, Just Go

To search the mind is a dangerous thing.
Often we choose to organize our thoughts into neatly tied packages.
Or we leave them astray, tossed in an untidy sprawl of confusion.
But our downfall is not from the action of searching.
Our demise comes from that which we dwell on.
Single out one thought, and another cycle of fear is created.

What if I get hurt?
What if I lose against Love?
What if I am not accepted?
What if I am not recognized?
What if I fail?

Too many what-ifs – Too many questions.
And from these fears, we are introduced to a discoloration of life.
And we are starved from our potential.
Too many questions of what might not happen,
As opposed to welcoming what could happen.

Ah, tonight let it be heard.
Let it be sung on high,
And let it enter your mind yet again:
Harness your thoughts, and be only an acquaintance with them.
Introduce yourself, then let them pass.
Let them live on, but not stay hostage in your mind.
And once you learn to let them enter and depart with the movement of time,
And acknowledgement,
You will learn.

You will get hurt, but you will heal.
You will lose against Love, but she will always hold you close.
You will be rejected, but you will accept more beautiful offers.
You will be overlooked, but you will shine with humility.
You will fail, but you will learn of a new answer.

And that new answer will carry you home.

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Day 237 – Healing

Young one, I sense your fear in your eyes.
But if this is the route you choose,
I support you.
I cannot guarantee you will not feel the side effects,
Nor will you be void of any risk, but…
I support you.
Young one, I know you are pressured into this seat.
So, I will not question your motives.
But know, that there are consequences.
Like an altered state of mind,
Or different emotions creeping out of passageways,
Or new ways to react to your change.
Perhaps you’ll lash out in anguish.
Or collapse in agony.
Or rejoice in ecstasy.
Or laugh in serenity.
But I assure you, I cannot assure you of any of these.
I assure you that I cannot promise you will not experience these.
I apologize if I’m a little inconvenient.
And the side effects may not be what you desire.
But you desire to follow through with your decision.
You desire an outcome more fruitful than before.
You want to avoid scars,
But I cannot promise there will be no blade.
You want to prevent heartache,
But I cannot stop yours from breaking.
You want to enjoy the bounty of relief,
But I cannot hold up the burden.
You want to change the stars,
But I cannot stop them from blinding you.
If you have chosen this path,
Please know that you cannot go back.
You’ll have to adapt, despite the cost.
Young one, I support you. Just do not get lost.

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Day 230 – Left Alone

To Inspiration:
I have a final announcement to make.
Are you listening?
I’m a little offended that you have chosen to
Abandon me during these hours of need.
I need you.
Please come back.
I’m desperate, please.
I cannot go on.
No. Wait.
I am not desperate.
I’m disappointed in you.
For being disappointed in me.
Was I really that helpless,
That you saw it fit to leave?
Oh, is this how it’s going to be?
No goodbye, no apology.
Just me left in the dust.
Just me watching you leave.

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Day 227 – Unmade Mind

Never knew you could fit it all under one roof
A contained space of uncontrollable mess
A sticky handful of high stress
And sitting on the edge, ready to plunge forward
Into a chaotic tunnel of whistles and tones
Partnered with dye, with ink, splattered upon a canvas
And soaked in bucket of uncertainty
Thick, and viscous, it’d be too tragic to miss this
Fate has been poured into a bottomless abyss
Where speed and rest are forced to a twist