the year of lyrics: a poetry project

my search for inner-peace, one poem at a time

Day 105 – Out of Touch

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I’m not quite sure how to maintain the innocence
But if I were to know how, it’d probably be something like this:

See, I’m supposed to be the strongest one of them all
The one who cares for the cuts and bruises
And is ready to catch them if they fall
The protector, the warrior, the guardian of their spirits
One who shelters them from the deadly sins
And instructs them on how to cope

No, I don’t feel like I’m missing anything
However, I do feel inadequate
Wasn’t I supposed to be the most cunning?
The most creative?
And shit, why did anyone put me in charge of all this?
Insert into me a couple of tokens, and you’d expect me to function properly
Yet here I am, on the verge of imploding
Unable to stand straight and point them in the right direction
Truly lost and incapable of finding my way out

I was supposed to be the kindest one of them all
Dedicating my life to helping them to succeed
And knowing the difference between what to accept and repel
Recently, I was told to always accept an offer
Be it kind or ill-intentioned
Welcome it with an open mind
And maybe it was something you were meant to find

Yet, I would just like to add my own life-lesson:
You may want to allow each offer into your life,
But be prepared to see the very worst,
To feel the burn on your own skin
To smell, inhale deeply, the scent of regret
To hear the most repulsive sounds echo within your eardrum
To taste disappointment, and be able to recognize it early on

I wanted to be the very best
The challenger, the opponent that you feared to go up against
Instead, I’m not enough
Suffering from uncontrollable discomfort
In my back, my chest, my throat
All of which tighten
Close up

For now, I’ll let the tears escape as if I have no choice
And I’ll just shut up so you can’t hear my voice


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